I think my vagina is haunted
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
