There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
