we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
