lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
