Christians are straight up FREAKS
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
