he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
