Nicole vs. Life
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
