that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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