I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
