ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
