It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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