I bet he comes in French.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
