I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
