how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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