NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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