Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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