Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
