He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
