It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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