So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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