I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
