I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
