i don't like sucking hair
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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