So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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