The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
