Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize