What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize