what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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