I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize