i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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