well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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