is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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