I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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