Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
