this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
