NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
