I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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