id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wish you could order shots online.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
