so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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