whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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