So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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