You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
