omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
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