So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
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