in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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