How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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