I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
