is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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