everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
