I feel like abortions should bother me more
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize