none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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