If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
