if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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