Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize