There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I love having hate sex.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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