And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
