dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
