He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize