What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
