You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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