4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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