3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
